i was born with a sixth toe protruding from my left frontal lobe. the nurses thought it was the cutest thing. they cried when it was removed. i've been unable to sleep ever since, much to the dismay of clancy - my german parakeet.

clancy sleeps in my room with me - or at least he tries to - but, really, who could with all that screaming? peanut butter is the only thing that calms me after a long day of badger-dueling, so clancy usually has a jar open and ready for me when i get home from work at my badger-dueling job. the market is small, but growing.

my favorite color is sausage and i enjoy friendships with bricks since they don't talk and talking is stupid and being stupid is retarded (no offense to those of you with retarded friends - none of whom, i assume, are bricks because bricks don't talk).