Description: 66 West Portal avenue, est. Time: 12:30 post Meridian
computer battery Life: 22 min (8%) remaining

it's been a while since I last went record rummaging. Today I went with the ladyfriend to a neat little hole-in-the-wall somewhere in San Francisco, the kind of place that sells Laserdiscs and 20 baseball Cards for a dollar. right Now I'm listening to an original Bob Dylan bootleg from the 1960s, and thinking about the Uselessness of correct capitalization. these selections are from the records/cassettes I bought Today.

the Artwork was an x-Ray of some rats, or guinea pigs, but I guess the answer is "wait for 2.0," right?

Description: When producing vinyl LP's, it is possible to cut parallel grooves with a special sort of lathe. This way, depending on where the needle is dropped, two entirely different sides can be placed less than a millimeter next to each other.

In the little pretend world that I frequent, I have one of these lathes. Depending on where the needle is dropped, you will hear either "Heavy Heavy" (the odd-numbered tracks) or "Mush Mouth" (the even-numbered tracks) from start to finish.

This mixtape is dedicated to all the moms and pops in the room tonight.

1. A favorite album opener.
2. A song from a movie.
3. A song that the Wu-Tang Clan would make fun of.
4. A song used in a TV commercial.
5. A song where the title of the song is not in the lyrics of said song.
6. A song by a 'grunge' band.
7. A song by a two-hit wonder (or a one-hit, this one is hard...).
8. A song that your parents would probably disapprove of.
9. A song that references the internet / computers.
10. * Guilty pleasure wildcard *
11. A short song.
12. A song for listening to while playing the original Zelda.
13. A theme song for your personal montage.
14. Teenage angst.
15. My, that's a funky-ass bassline you have there.
16. Fuck this, I'm leaving.

Description: Once upon a time, a man known as T-bag 'round these here parts made a mix for me (well, it was about my mother, but that's neither here nor there). I've gone several months without returning the favor, so here you are, T-bag. In true hate-mix fashion, this took about 6½ minutes.

This isn't really about the music at all. The beauty lies in the song titles.

Description: On Friday my father's picking my brother up from the airport (he's taking "artsy" classes at a university in Pennsylvania). Usually we listen to the music on the radio, but this time I plan to take advantage of the car's tape deck.

Side A, or "PHL → OAK", is for the ride to the airport. It's nearing twilight, pretty hot for a summer night in the San Francisco Bay Area, and the tape runs its course. This mix is forty-five minutes long because I am using a ninety minute audio cassette tape, and if there are two sides to an audio cassette tape and the recording time is split equally on each side, then how much time will there be for one side of the tape? (Word problems were never my forte either, so I'll even do the next step for you: 90 ÷ 2 = ?)

Side B, or "OAK → PHL", is for the ride from the airport, with overcaffeinated brother in tow. That side probably won't make it onto the Mixtape Collective, as it is peppered with classics by Journey, AC/DC, and Dragon Force.

This mix is for me. Oh, and for my brother. He's pretty OK.

Description: ˈtʃæptər XXXI: MCMLXXX - MCMXCIX, ðə ˈdɔnɪŋ ɒv ðə ˌtɛknəˈlɒdʒɪkəl eɪdʒ
ˈsɛkʃən II: ˈeɪnʃənt ɑrt - ˈmyuzɪk ˌkɒmpəˈleɪʃən ɪn ˈpriviəs ˌdʒɛnəˈreɪʃəns

eɪ fôrms ɒv ˈænlˌɔg rɪˈkɔrdɪŋ ænd ˌriprəˈdʌkʃən bɪˈkeɪm tʃip'ər ænd lɛs ˈtaɪmkənˌsumɪŋ, ðə ækt ɒv hoʊm ˌri'rɪˈkɔrdɪŋ ˈɒntu əˈfɔrdəbəl mægˈnɛtɪk teɪp kəˈsɛts bɪˈkeɪm ˈikwəli sɪgˈnɪfɪkənt tʊ ˈpɒpyələr ˈkʌltʃər. ˈoʊnli wʌn ə́v ðíz téps hǽz sərvájvd áwər mɛ́ni wɔ́rz, ðə rɛ́st wər dəstrɔ̀jd ʃɔ́rtli ǽftər wə́rld wɔ́r' IV. ðɪ́s tép ɪ́z é kjʊ̀riɑ́səti, ǽz ɪ́t kəmprájzəz nó mɔ́r ðǽn twɛ́nti fájv sɛ́kəndz ə́v ə́rθ tájm ǽnd kənsɪ́sts ə́v é stréndʒ wájnɪŋ nɔ̀jz. ɪ́f wí kʊ́d ən sə́m wé dɪ̀skə́vər wə́t ðɪ́s tép wəz ɪ̀ntɛ́ndəd tú bí júzd fɔ́r, wí kʊ́d gén sə́m ɪ́nsɑ̀jt ɪ̀ntú ðə lɪ́vz ə́v ðə pípəl ə́v ðǽt ɛ́rə. ɪ́t ɪ́z é mɪ́stəri.

Description: A week or so after I submitted my entry for the fifth mixtape contest, this idea worked its way into my brain. About a month later, I decided it was plausible, and after another month, I discovered it was possible. Two months later I began to work on it, and since then I've lost track of time.

The basic premise is to connect two Pattons - one, a revolutionary country bluesman, the other, a revolutionary I-don't-know-what-exactly. Early drafts were heavily rock-oriented - I originally planned to link Buzz Osborne (bass player of Fantômas) to Nirvana to something-or-other, but as I fleshed it out, it became an avant-jazz behemoth ending in a bit of hip hop. Although I was willing to sacrifice transition for substance, none of it is too abrasive and the mix is suitable for casual listening. I reckon I'm very proud of what I've accomplished here.

On a side note, this mix is dedicated to Pete Grant (known by most on this website as "johnny_luddite"). His "Crosby to Crosby" mixtape was responsible for this mixtape's conception, which unfortunately missed both the fifth and the ninth mixtape contest deadlines. Thanks, Pete.

Description: Ten years ago, I would wake up to the percolation of the coffee machine and the syncopation of the dishwasher. I would wake up to the soft crackle of pancake batter on griddle, to the rapid spring of burnt waffles rushed from their grid-iron home to be buttered and drowned in Safeway® syrup. If the crackles and the springs of joy were nowhere to be found, alas! the glazed donuts would be glistening in the warm kitchen lights. Ten years ago, my family, my youthful family of five, would talk of the wonderful afternoon that would follow that wonderful morning, and of the wonderful dreams that preceded it. Ten years ago, Pinky and the Brain would broadcast on the Warner Brothers network. Ten years ago, there was a Warner Brothers network. Ten years ago I was happy.

Now, I just wake up.

Description: The conception of a new mixtape theme never comes easy. Which is precisely why the gods have unloaded this beastly burden (known as "Popozão" to the less fortunate) upon us. I have taken up this burden.

Description: Each song title consists of the word "little" and one other word.
The entire mixtape does not exceed twenty minutes.

Tell me this isn't long enough and I will gouge your eyes out with an industrial-sized paper comb. Don't question me.

Description: "If music is frozen architecture, then the potpourri is frozen coffee-table gossip... Potpourri is the art of adding apples to pears.” -Schoenberg, A.

1. Your Favorite Album Opener
2. A Song About Animals
3. A Song That Makes You Want To Commit A Felony
4. A Song About Sex
5. A Song Michael Bolton Should Cover
6. The Worst Song In The World
7. Wildcard: Your Guilty Pleasure
8. "If Snoop Dogg's 'Doggystyle' Came Out In 1944"
9. A Song 10. A Remix Better Than The Original
11. A Song From The Last Record You Purchased
12. A Song That References Video Games
13. A Song With A Swear Word In The Title
14. The Song That Got You Through High School
15. Your Favorite Album Closer

Description: The title was inspired by a phrase I coined several months ago.
Music fit for a night of promiscuity, with the help of alcohol.
Hell, you'd need alcohol just to make it through the first track.

Three-Way Sidewalk ©2006 Brandon Stone.

Description: Lacking a tangible rhyme or reason, to aid a vapid landscape.
Drawing heavily upon the dystopic future of the past and present.
Music of the city streets and the examination of a clear conscience.

"Bird in Broken Window" © 2004 Brandon Stone.

Description: Down the rabbit hole.

"Twas brillig, and th' slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were th' borogoves, and th' mome raths outgrabe." -Lewis Carroll

My parents continue to surprise me with their knowledge of music.
Especially my father, who approached me one day with the words,
"Bob Dylan's coming to San Francisco, do you want tickets?"

Instead of traversing the obvious route of the producer-collaborator mixtape, these songs are linked by the anecdotes of my youth.

Don't complain to me about following directions. The prompt was vague.

Description: i'm so great, i couldn't resist creating a mixtape to sing my own praises. i really deserve it, i'm like a saint but better. and i'm humble, too, i'm the most humble person you'll ever meet. i might be the most humble person in the world, but no one knows it because that's how humble i am.

Description: The mixtape treads through ambience, techno, blues, pop, folk, country, rap, and Captain Beefheart. For some reason, it flows really well. OK, so there may not be bands with less than three listeners or anything like that, but it's familiar. I like familiar.