Your fingers are like crippled snails.
| Your fingers are like crippled snails. | |
| Created by: | siobahnit |
| Tracks: | 11 |
| Length: | 00:45:28 |
| Keywords |
1. School 2. Uni 3. Teachaz |
| Created on | 9/12/06 1:39am |
| Level | 7 |
| Points | 3261 |
| Total visitors | 114 |
| Unique visitors | 57 |
description:
Once I T.A.-ed for a 90-year old English Lit. Professor who was quite softspoken and meek. There was one student in particular who would constantly be half an hour late to class, talk endlessly on his mobile from the moment he sat down, then would leave fifteen minutes early. My Professor said nothing until about two weeks before the end of the semester. "Mr. Johnson.. what grade do you think you'll be getting in this class?" he asked the stonefaced student. "Uhhh, Iono.. a EFF?" he said. The Professor shook his head. "Actually, you're getting a D." The student's eyes opened wide in surprise, as he asked: "What, why?!" After a pause, Professor cleared his throat and simply said: "Because, Mr. Johnson. Sometimes F stands for 'fuck.' And you're not worth one."
tracklist
| 1 | Pixies : Weird at My School |
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I am a music major with a concentration in vocal performance (specifically, opera), and most of these songs will have to do with how fucking bizarre my professors are. The title of this comp has to do with how my former Soviet, Jew-hating, Piano Virtuoso Professor Tatiana Scott (nee Rottkavanovich or something like that) describes my playing in class. "Your fingers are like crippled snails. Break the wrist. Or I'll fell you again." Weird, weird, weird. I thought I was strange.
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Track 1 from Complete 'B' Sides
Length: 00:01:59 |
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Track Description:
I am a music major with a concentration in vocal performance (specifically, opera), and most of these songs will have to do with how fucking bizarre my professors are. The title of this comp has to do with how my former Soviet, Jew-hating, Piano Virtuoso Professor Tatiana Scott (nee Rottkavanovich or something like that) describes my playing in class. "Your fingers are like crippled snails. Break the wrist. Or I'll fell you again." Weird, weird, weird. I thought I was strange. SHOW LESS
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| 2 | The Police : Don't Stand So Close to Me |
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Ear-training/musicianship classes entail a lot of dictation, where someone will play a piece or tap out a rhythm and we are to write it down just by hearing it. I have an enormous crush on my eccentric musicianship II professor, but he really bugs the living fuck out of me whenever he stands over me during an exam whilst I scribble chords down furiously. "Not even close," he says.
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Track 2 from Greatest Hits
Length: 00:04:01 Year: 1992 |
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Track Description:
Ear-training/musicianship classes entail a lot of dictation, where someone will play a piece or tap out a rhythm and we are to write it down just by hearing it. I have an enormous crush on my eccentric musicianship II professor, but he really bugs the living fuck out of me whenever he stands over me during an exam whilst I scribble chords down furiously. "Not even close," he says. SHOW LESS
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| 3 | OK Go : Here it Goes Again |
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I always do perfectly in my classes the first two weeks or so, and then everything seems to fall apart. I'm just lazy I guess. So here it goes again. Third year, come on. Third of eighty, that is.
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Track 3 from Oh No
Length: 00:02:59 Year: 2005 |
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Track Description:
I always do perfectly in my classes the first two weeks or so, and then everything seems to fall apart. I'm just lazy I guess. So here it goes again. Third year, come on. Third of eighty, that is. SHOW LESS
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| 4 | Supertramp : School |
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My ethnomusicology professor always brought a foreign instrument and played a section of a Haydn String Quartet (Uh, yeah.. what the) on it so we could experience different sounds (I think). Once he brought in a harmonica and wouldn't stop playing it for ten minutes. It sounded quite like the beginning of this song, and was really unnerving. Several people left. At least I know that he, like Supertramp, was aware of the conformity of teaching and how we all need to mix it up once in a while. Or he was just weird.
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Track 4 from Crime of the Century
Length: 00:05:36 Year: 1974 |
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Track Description:
My ethnomusicology professor always brought a foreign instrument and played a section of a Haydn String Quartet (Uh, yeah.. what the) on it so we could experience different sounds (I think). Once he brought in a harmonica and wouldn't stop playing it for ten minutes. It sounded quite like the beginning of this song, and was really unnerving. Several people left. At least I know that he, like Supertramp, was aware of the conformity of teaching and how we all need to mix it up once in a while. Or he was just weird. SHOW LESS
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| 5 | Blur : Beetlebum |
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I listen to this song every morning before I go to school. It is probably the only non-"classical" (in quotations because not all "classical" music comes from the "classical" period) I will hear all day. It really encompasses the idea that music is addictive, life-ruining, and excruciatingly wonderful, like how Damon Albarn's heroin addictions can be. Take me away on a beautiful musical journey, Beetlebum.
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Track 5 from Blur
Length: 00:05:04 Year: 1997 |
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Track Description:
I listen to this song every morning before I go to school. It is probably the only non-"classical" (in quotations because not all "classical" music comes from the "classical" period) I will hear all day. It really encompasses the idea that music is addictive, life-ruining, and excruciatingly wonderful, like how Damon Albarn's heroin addictions can be. Take me away on a beautiful musical journey, Beetlebum. SHOW LESS
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| 6 | KRS-One : You Must Learn |
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I had a silkscreening Professor descended (very recently descended) from Nigerian royalty who was the most racist wank on the planet, but most of all, he abhorred black people! He would always preach about how there was no unity between "blacks and whites" because the black people of today had no "cultchaaaa." And he would go on and on about the terrible "hip-hohp/rrrrap" music with violent and/or pointless messages. One day I saw a KRS-One cassette tape fall out of his bag. Bastard.
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Track 6 from Ghetto Music: The Blueprint of Hip Hop
Length: 00:03:53 Year: 1989 |
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Track Description:
I had a silkscreening Professor descended (very recently descended) from Nigerian royalty who was the most racist wank on the planet, but most of all, he abhorred black people! He would always preach about how there was no unity between "blacks and whites" because the black people of today had no "cultchaaaa." And he would go on and on about the terrible "hip-hohp/rrrrap" music with violent and/or pointless messages. One day I saw a KRS-One cassette tape fall out of his bag. Bastard. SHOW LESS
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| 7 | !!! : Me and Giuliani Down by the School Yard (A True Story) |
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Ohhhh, yeahhh. Footloose theme lyrics. An homage to ole Simon and Garfunkle. True stories about playing on the blacktop with an Italian kid in Upper West New York. This is for my Gamelan Professor who always voices tempo in different syllables: i.e. CHK CHK CHK, POW POW POW, BANG BANG BANG, ZUM ZUM ZUM.
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Track 7 from louden up now
Length: 00:09:02 Year: 2004 |
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Track Description:
Ohhhh, yeahhh. Footloose theme lyrics. An homage to ole Simon and Garfunkle. True stories about playing on the blacktop with an Italian kid in Upper West New York. This is for my Gamelan Professor who always voices tempo in different syllables: i.e. CHK CHK CHK, POW POW POW, BANG BANG BANG, ZUM ZUM ZUM. SHOW LESS
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| 8 | Cat Stevens : Old School Yard |
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God, I long for the old school days where music meant your kindergarten teacher strumming a guitar and singing about frogs on logs and polka dots on whales, and such. This Journeyesque intro kicks some major arse.
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Track 8 from Remember: The Ultimate Collection
Length: 00:02:43 Year: 1999 |
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Track Description:
God, I long for the old school days where music meant your kindergarten teacher strumming a guitar and singing about frogs on logs and polka dots on whales, and such. This Journeyesque intro kicks some major arse. SHOW LESS
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| 9 | Eazy E : College Girls Are Eazy |
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Too true. I know a French Horn Major who just got kicked out for shagging the Wind Ensemble director. Her name even appears in this song =X
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Track 9 from Still Compton Style
Length: 00:04:26 |
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Track Description:
Too true. I know a French Horn Major who just got kicked out for shagging the Wind Ensemble director. Her name even appears in this song =X SHOW LESS
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| 10 | Daft Punk : Teachers |
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I wouldn't be studying music if it weren't for loads of different influences. This song is a great way to show appreciation to some random, but definitely deserving people. Dre, Brian Wilson, DJ Funk - these names are just as equatable to all the professors I just listed.
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Track 10 from Homework
Length: 00:02:52 Year: 1997 |
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Track Description:
I wouldn't be studying music if it weren't for loads of different influences. This song is a great way to show appreciation to some random, but definitely deserving people. Dre, Brian Wilson, DJ Funk - these names are just as equatable to all the professors I just listed. SHOW LESS
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| 11 | David Bowie : Kooks |
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To wrap it up, you have to be crazy to go back to school. And you have to be absolute bonkers to study music. So I guess I'm kooky all over.
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Track 11 from Hunky Dory
Length: 00:02:53 Year: 1971 |
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Track Description:
To wrap it up, you have to be crazy to go back to school. And you have to be absolute bonkers to study music. So I guess I'm kooky all over. SHOW LESS
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Tag Board
The Serendipity Badge
love beetlebum so much. i used to listen to it everyday before school
12/20/09 4:51pm
The One Year Anniversary Badge
Eazy E...fo shiz! Nice story too....i started uni the other day and i dont think my peers have gotten used to the idea that this isnt highschool because alot of the people act like your stonedfaced classmate.
8/16/07 11:52pm
Team Robot - Second Place
me too, i also like the story of your backyard.
9/24/06 4:42am
TEAM 97 -- Team Badge
you should have entered the contest with this one. (was that your intent?)
and technically, the song "you must learn" was recorded/released under the group name Boogie Down Productions. I say that with all due respect. I included it on my 'back to school' mix as well!
and technically, the song "you must learn" was recorded/released under the group name Boogie Down Productions. I say that with all due respect. I included it on my 'back to school' mix as well!
9/13/06 11:57pm
The Yay! Badge VI
+++ circle of fiths, even though I hated it
-- mention of snails, it would be 5x- if it were slugs though. I have a full on phobia of the things.
Oh, music wise it's pretty rockin!
-- mention of snails, it would be 5x- if it were slugs though. I have a full on phobia of the things.
Oh, music wise it's pretty rockin!
9/13/06 4:17pm
The Badge of Mystery
That is a fantastic album description. I almost put that !!! on mine as well.
9/12/06 8:27am
The Level 21 Badge
I dunno what the rule is, but why don't you re-post it? Anyone? It that legal?
9/12/06 6:30am
The Level 21 Badge
It's Justine Frischmann and heroin addiction that beetlebum's about.
9/12/06 6:25am
TEAM 97 -- Third Place
Um I wish I had decided to put this in the contest. Boo :(
9/12/06 1:49am
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