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Tallon the Bad Rad

Tallon the Bad Rad
Created by: T-bag
Tracks: 4
Length: 01:18:14
Keywords 1. Tallon
2. Bad
3. Rad
Created on 4/12/07 12:09pm
Level 6
Points 2583
Total visitors 46
Unique visitors 27
description:
The 3rd part and conclusion to the Mix with No Name Trilogy (No duh!)

Fade In
Prologue

"In a land Ruled by evil, a hero is fueled by rage and driven to destiny. A loyal companion. Enemies whose evil hearts will never let them stop hunting our sexy hero. Only one sacred mix that holds the power to all time and space can set this unrest balanced. This is the Story of the mix with no name..."


2393(The era of Horror and chaos)

The earth is vastly different than we know it now (2007 the era of compliance). The sea is red and the weather is in constant turmoil. This earth of now is a terrible place with evil running amok. Tales of yore tell of the one sacred mix that can, if wield right, change the earth and save what is left of humanity. Tales tell of a chosen one whose blood line traces all the way back to this one holy mix...


2007(The era of complacence)

With the rising temperatures and the future of the earth uncertain, the United States Government funds a experimental program that has ships dumping Iron ore deposits into certain parts of the ocean(to create an algae bloom that would absorb carbon dioxide), this goes on for the better part of 2007. International shock and outrage ensues when it’s found that parts of the sea are colored permanently red and temperatures of the sea are changing.

2057(the era of self determination)


Along with political tension, the temperatures also rise, giving way to a series of secret meetings with the top scientists in varied felids. One option of a new society being created on the moon comprised of the best humans possible, physically and mentally begins to develop. It's decided that this new way of life will begin immediately. This new society of progressive thinking individuals forms with out the knowledge of most of humanity, with the different governments being the exception.
This new experiment looks promising.


2087(The era of inner turmoil)


With eco-systems failing and being destroyed, the world begins to slowly collapse. Disease and plague rip the earth apart, on top of this, information of the moon society leaks and earth is put into a world wide civil war. All Support to the moon is cut and different factions begin to form on the moon, inner turmoil causes the moon inhabitants to launch a nuclear warhead that strikes Hong Kong China, destroying land as far away as Taiwan, nuclear fall out as far as Japan and tidal waves and shock reaching the shores of the west coast, even breaking windows inland as far as Idaho. The earth not to be taken lightly the launches seven nuclear missiles, destroying the inhabitants of the moon. Unfortunately for the earthlings, the effects of this war will always be felt(the moon usually moves four meters per century, after the nuclear missiles hit, it begins to move eight meters per century, effecting the moons gravitational pull). The tidal waves that ensue after this terrible war washes away all knowledge of our history and most of humanity away. Earths satellite is forever darkened and trembling. The memories of our ancestors fade...

2393(the era of Horror and Chaos)


In this new earth, music is considered holy and all powerful for reasons dating back to 2187(the era of a new hope). Word is spread, fairytales, and myths are started centering on a mix tape that could save humanity. Two different warlike groups begin to emerge as the most powerful and influential around this time. The romantic associates (descendents of the First moon colonists); a progressive group of warriors and musicians who try spread word of the mix with no name. The zeppelins a group dedicated to being all powerful and all knowing. These groups are led by different rulers, the romantic associates being led by a chosen leader whose blood line can be traced back to the one sacred mix, while Zeppelins are led by a dictator backed by three of his most powerful warriors. For hundreds of years the earth is peaceful in an uneasy way. Like being caught the eye of a tornado (remember that scene in twister, just like that, without Helen hunt though). Soon a huge war is fought and the kingdom of Tallon the Terrible, leader of the romantic associates is destroyed. Tallon the Bad Rad, named after his grandfather, is hidden away at birth by Tallon the Terrible's most trusted friend, Jon the Sameron. Oda the leader of the Zeppelins steals the Holy Map to The sacred mix with no name, The Teresa (A 1940 martin d18 Guitar), and The Boom box of Doom. Entrusting each of these items to his most fearsome warriors. Tallon the Bad Rad eventually comes of age is told of his destiny by Jon the Sameron. Tallon is given a three bladded sword passed on from generation to generation(Oh yeah, the three-bladed sword can launch the two outer blades like missiles, Sweet). Jon teaches Tallon the Bad Rad the Warrior ways of the past Tallon's. Soon ready and trained in only a montage sequence Bryan De Palma could Direct, Tallon Fueled by Hate and desire he sets off on a quest to find the mix with no name. We find our handsome hero at the snow bluff bar just outside of the Badlands. He has been tracking the Assassin named Johnny guitar, Oda's Brother and the most feared man with a pistol (yep, guns still exist, I guess).

tracklist

1 Boris : The Dead Angle Which It Continues Showing
The long winded first chapter.


Tallon the Bad Rad is a Strapping young man with the vir [...]
SHOW MORE
Track 3 from The Thing Which Solomon Overlooked Vol 1
Length: 00:20:00
Year: 0000
Track Description:
The long winded first chapter.


Tallon the Bad Rad is a Strapping young man with the virile of 70 Wilt Chamberlains. His companion Jon the Sameron Davis is a grizzled man with handsome attributes of 70 George Clooney’s. We find our heroes inside of Snow Bluff Bar. Drinking fine ales in goblets made of solid gold. Tallon makes an announcement.
“Hey you fucking Jerks, where can I find the assassin Johnny Guitar?”
Several brutes rise, and begin to approach Tallon. An arrow whizzes in the air and strikes the lead brute in the right eyeball. He falls dead over a table ruining somebody’s Shepard’s pie. The other Brutes back off
“That’s what I’m talking about dude.” Tallon and Jon give each other a top gun high five.
A bar wench approaches Tallon. “I couldn’t help but notice thy humongous bulge, good sir.”
“There nothing good about, except that bulge, sweet ass.”
Before she knows whats going on, she’s swept up off of her feet and being taken in her quarters.
“Oh Tallon the Bad Rad, ohhhh, this is so bad, yet so rad.”
As Tallon pumps away at this wench, she climaxes and Tallon finishes with her. Soon pillow talk ensues.
“Tallon the Bad Rad” says the flushed wench
“What the fuck do you want slut?”
“Um, will you tell me about yourself?’
Tallon sighs for 34 seconds “Yeah, okay, sure, whatever, poop.”

“So let me break it down. This is the story of the generations of Tallon. In the day that Tallon created Tallon, in the likeness of Tallon made he him;
Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Tallon, in the day when they were created.
And Tallon lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Tallon the Taltron:
And the days of Tallon after he had begotten Tallon the Taltron were eight hundred years: and he begat a son
And all the days that Tallon lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died.
And Tallon the Taltron lived an hundred and five years, and begat Tallon the Sad Bad:
And Tallon the Taltron lived after he begat Tallon the Sad Bad eight hundred and seven years, and begat a son”

After some time Tallon the Bad Rad, his lineage and the wench had fallen asleep. Tallon took this opportunity to leave the wench. He left payment though. One lock of his beautiful dark brown reddish hair. He Left and went downstairs to the bar area, Jon the Sameron has found the assassin Johnny guitar and slain him
“I found a map on him and your father’s guitar, this is good and so our journey begins.” Jon says with strong conviction.
“Why do you always talk like that?”

Their journey begins
SHOW LESS
2 The Melvins/Lustmord : Pigs of the Roman Empire
The Montage

We see Tallon and Sameron Running through a thick forest of huge pine trees. Oda send [...]
SHOW MORE
Track 4 from Pigs of the Roman Empire
Length: 00:22:29
Year: 2004
Track Description:
The Montage

We see Tallon and Sameron Running through a thick forest of huge pine trees. Oda sends for a messenger to gather his top generals. We then see Jon and Tallon fighting a huge Kodiak bear. Tallon is underneath the bear stabbing it in the heart while Jon fires and shoots the bear right between the eyes. Oda is standing in front a huge group of warriors with two fearsome looking warriors by his side. The first is Silverstien (A three headed emo banshee), and the second being Cirrus (A god with a sonic metal guitar and wings made of silver). The unruly warriors cheer for these brutal destroyers. When we see Tallon and Jon, they are adorned in the Kodiak bears hides by a camp fire eating Kodiak kabobs. Oda and his troops begin running through the very same forest that Tallon and Jon were running through earlier. We see oda near a camp fire; he sees a muddy foot print and puts his fingers in the foot print. He slowly brings his fingers to his nose and gives quite a sniff. He stares forward and glares.

Dissolve

Tallon and Jon make there way through seven feet of snow on the mountain called snow bluff. Tallon stops and both of the warriors sense danger. Below at the base of the mountain we see Silverstien. He stares up into the mountain and begins to scream a painful song about heart break in a "round" with the other two heads on his body. An avalanche ensues and Tallon and Jon are covered with snow. With the abilities of a locust, Silverstien jumps in miles in distances, he jumps and lands in front of Tallon and Jon as they are finish making their way out of the avalanche. Siliverstien begins to sing again. Tallon’s left eardrum bursts and he wails in pin. Jon covers his ears but cannot take much more. He tries a bold move. He loads an enchanted arrow and shoots Silverstien in the dominant head. The sound becomes less painful for their ears; Tallon shoots two of his three blades. Striking and sticking into Silverstien’s other heads, his body collapses and he dies. They search his body and find the holy map to the mix with no name, the real map.

Cut to:

Jon and Tallon chopping a huge sequoia tree down. They carve a huge boat out of the tree. Then we see them in the sea of red. A storm rages as they paddle through the ocean. They continue on their way stopping to look at the map. We see Jon and Tallon looking into the distance, the see a light flicker. Jon pulls out his bow, reaches into his quiver and loads an arrow. Tallon Takes his sword out and looks over to Jon. We then see a c/u of Icarus. His wings shine in the moonlight. He flies over their heads and begins to play a “riff” on his guitar. He shoots a sonic blast towards Tallon; he deflects the blast with his sword. Jon shoots at Icarus and hits his legs; an arrow sticks out from his legs. Icarus shoots off Jon’s right arm with a sonic blast. Jon screams in pain. Tallon tries to shoot Icarus with his sword but misses. Jon loads an arrow with his mouth and fires, hitting Icarus in the face, killing him. Icarus falls into the ocean red. We see Jon’s face. He’s in pain.

Match cut

We Jon’s face as Tallon takes a torch places it on Jon’s right arm. We see them on their way again trekking through vast and desolate plains. Then we see them again coming out from a dungeon with a boom box. They are slaying beasts and dragons, and shit like that. We see them killing most of Oda’s troops with style. Oh, oh, oh and we see them bedding like twenty wenches at the same time. YAY!
Their Journey brings them to a sacred place in my made up world, that you wish you could imagine.
They have a final stand off with Oda’s troops. They kill them all (yeah lame Metallica references), with only Oda left standing.
SHOW LESS
3 Sunn0))) & Boris : Blood Swamp
The Boss Battle



"Oda is a bad ass mother fucker dude" Jon says before he hands me a [...]
SHOW MORE
Track 6 from Altar
Length: 00:14:45
Year: 2006
Track Description:
The Boss Battle



"Oda is a bad ass mother fucker dude" Jon says before he hands me a Nintendo power glove.

"Let’s see what kind of boss he turns out to be" I say before slipping on the Power Glove.

"Hopefully he'll be the type of boss with greater attack power and endurance but a weak spot that’s easy to spot when he rest after expending so much energy". Jon says.

"Yeah lets pray he's that type of boss" I say as I see Oda approaching.

"In all honesty, I think he's going to be the type of boss with the stages thing going on, you know you defeat him once and then he turns into a different form". Tallon says

"AWW TUFF" Jon says.
"Well, well, well". Oda says as he stands right in front of our heroes.

"Hey mother fucker, enough with well talk, I drink Adjani if I'm thirsty. Let’s just get it over with"


"It's your funeral chosen one" Oda says as he pulls out a wand. Paw and zap. Oda makes a timer appear above the right top of the screen. 20 seconds and counting

“talon what ever you do, do not become careless or desperate, he’s trying to put you at a psychological disadvantage. Do not cave under pressure” Jon says as he stands his ground with talon. 16 seconds and counting.

Like a scene out of a DBZ episode, Oda powers up and Blasts Jon Sameron Davis is the fast with an energy ball or some shit like that. As Jon lies dying, he whispers something into Tallon’s ear and passes on into another dimension. 10 seconds and counting.

“All right, you stupid asshole, check this fucking shit ass out.” Tallon says before pushing some buttons into Power Glove. 6 seconds and counting.

“Up, Down---Oda interrupts

“No, it can’t be what are you doing?” 3 seconds and counting

“Unlimited life cheat, too bad shit ass. Up, Down, Up, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, A, B, Select, STAARRRRRTTTTT!” 2 seconds and counting.

In an instant, Oda is destroyed; um…one second before the timer is out.

“Pheeewwww, whelp it looks like I just saved the whole universe.”

Tallon continues on his journey as the sun sets.


SHOW LESS
4 Thrones : Ted Williams
The Mix with No Name

Tallon and Jon make their way into a dungeon and some other stuff happens, i [...]
SHOW MORE
Track 5 from Alraune
Length: 00:21:00
Year: 1996
Track Description:
The Mix with No Name

Tallon and Jon make their way into a dungeon and some other stuff happens, it’s really exiting. To exiting for words. Anyway they find this one mix and totally save the world somehow.

The Liner notes for the mix go a little something like this. (Remember that the original Tallon Totally wrote these awesome linear notes and made a rad four song mix. +5 him for being totally sexy, + for being imaginative)

"I’m sure one of my decedents has found this one and all powerful mix, the only mix that can save a dying world. How you do this is a mystery to me. But I always it would went like this (I wrote out my sweet envisioned view of the future in screenplay format).

EXT. PYRAMID MINE - DAY

Tallon and Melina walk hand in hand up the slope, gazing in awe
At the billowing clouds in the new blue sky.

MELINA
(Overwhelmed)
Tallon, I can't believe it...It's like
a dream.

On hearing her words, Tallon's expression turns grim and
Confused.

MELINA (CONT'D)
What's wrong?

TALLON
I just had a terrible thought...What
if this is all a dream?

MELINA
Then kiss me quick...before you wake
up.

Melina offers her lips. Tallon takes her in his arms. And
they KISS.

THE END


And so you should know before you finish reading this. Whoever you are future Tallon. I love you like I love myself, a lot. Safe Travel from whatever dangers you just went through. Oh, I hope your finally Boss Battle totally kicked ass”.

With this Tallon sets out and spreads this Mix with No Name, with the enchanted Boom Box of doom.

Fade to Black

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Frank Costanza:

"Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way."


Festivus For The Rest Of Us, MTC 2008
awarded on 2009-03-07

Level 32
One tug at a time.
9/30/09 08:30am
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The One Year Anniversary Badge
Issued to those who have stuck it out for a year here on MTC. What a long, strange trip, huh?
awarded on 2010-06-09

Level 11
But, I'm a lady, so I may just squeeze it a bit.
9/25/09 03:04pm
The One Year Anniversary Badge badge
The One Year Anniversary Badge
Issued to those who have stuck it out for a year here on MTC. What a long, strange trip, huh?
awarded on 2010-06-09

Level 11
LOL!!! I want to give this mix head.
9/25/09 03:04pm
The Festivus '08 Badge badge
The Festivus '08 Badge
Frank Costanza:

"Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way."


Festivus For The Rest Of Us, MTC 2008
awarded on 2009-03-07

Level 32
I'm self absorbed, I know, but this mix kick ass.
7/22/08 01:46pm
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The MLK Badge
Because Civil Rights rock (and roll).
awarded on 2009-03-07

Level 27
Jeeeeesus.
4/16/07 09:56am
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