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Number One Crush

Number One Crush
Created by: childstar
Tracks: 14
Length: 01:00:59
Keywords 1. dudez
2. curiosity
3. crush
Created on 7/18/11 02:36pm
Level 2
Points 1295
Total visitors 32
Unique visitors 6
description:
Life is very different from when my last mix was published. I feel like a lot has happened, which is true. I've had six mixes in the making for awhile now. But screw those. I want something fresh. This is fresh. This is exciting. I have a crush.

I don't want to delve too much into my past relationship because I don't feel it's relevant in this case. But I will say it ended last month and it was a pretty emotional ordeal. However, in the time since then, I feel like I've grown. A lot. And I'm getting a much better idea of what I want in a significant other. I know what I like and what I can do without; I've finally admitted to myself that I also really dig ladies.

But I digress, for this mix is about one person—a guy, the brother of one of my best girlfriends. The title is named after the Garbage song, which is a band he really likes. I'm not sure where things will go with us. All I know is I have a great time with him and I adore his Jason Schwartzmanesque eyebrows. He's got this really biting, hilarious sense of humor and a strange sense of eloquence about him. He's cocky, yet charming.

And he's my crush.

tracklist

1 Death from Above 1979 : Romantic Rights

"I don't need you/I want you.../Come here baby, I love your company"

Badass opener. And spot- [...]
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Track 2 from Romantic Rights EP
Length: 00:02:57
Year: 2004
Track Description:

"I don't need you/I want you.../Come here baby, I love your company"

Badass opener. And spot-on with how I feel.
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2 Sonic Youth : 100%
"I can never forget you, the way you rock the girls/They move a world and love you, a blast in the underworld/ [...]
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Track 1 from Dirty
Length: 00:02:29
Year: 1992
Track Description:
"I can never forget you, the way you rock the girls/They move a world and love you, a blast in the underworld/I stick a knife in my head thinkin' about your eyes..."

He's really outgoing and kind of flirty, which I guess feels kind of threatening. But I like it at the same time. That's how he hooked me.
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3 Queens of the Stone Age : Regular John
"Who are you girl?/Who are you boy?/Bet I know what you're up to/And can I come along...Who are you girl?/'Cau [...]
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Track 1 from Queens of the Stone Age
Length: 00:04:35
Year: 1998
Track Description:
"Who are you girl?/Who are you boy?/Bet I know what you're up to/And can I come along...Who are you girl?/'Cause I'm so bored with myself/Anyway, any time and any place/I'll just hang around"

Reminds me of the first time we really talked. When he messaged me on FB I had no idea what I was going to say. Somehow we ended up talking about beer, and how we like to try different kinds of beers..which led to him telling me we should try beers together. And then the next day, we were hanging out.
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4 Brazilian Girls : Sexy Asshole
This song is in German. But translated, there are some lyrics I really like:

"I'm just caught up in [...]
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Track 0 from Talk to La Bomb
Length: 00:06:29
Year: 2006
Track Description:
This song is in German. But translated, there are some lyrics I really like:

"I'm just caught up in his desert/And I'm feeling freer than I want/Sexy asshole"

I don't think he is an asshole. ButJ we attended a party together last weekend, and a few people there sure thought he was (he's incredibly sarcastic). It's different with me though; I guess I just get it. I find it attractive. When he dishes it, I dish it right back. It's really cool.
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5 Purple Mercy : Holy Vultures (Multiversal Mind Axe)

"Living in a fantasy/Dream about awakening/The moon at my door/Came to take the pain away/Felt my body t [...]
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Track 5 from Purple Mercy
Length: 00:08:03
Year: 2009
Track Description:

"Living in a fantasy/Dream about awakening/The moon at my door/Came to take the pain away/Felt my body trembling/Passed out on the floor/Is this even happening, is this even happening?"

This song represents myself—my feelings for the past year or so. I've been in a daze, especially regarding my relationships. First, it was really hard to let go of Chris. And then, when I got involved with Eric, the way I felt about Chris held me back from really giving him my heart. But the way things have developed in the past month or two have really opened my eyes to what's going on.

For the longest time, I dreamt about awakening from this cycle of being lead on and then turned down by Chris. So I question, "Is this even happening?" Am I really into someone? Because fuck, it sure feels like it.
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6 Pixies : Gouge away
"You can gouge away/Stay all day if you want to/Missy aggravation/Some sacred questions/You stroke my locks/So [...]
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Track 15 from Doolittle
Length: 00:02:43
Year: 2003
Track Description:
"You can gouge away/Stay all day if you want to/Missy aggravation/Some sacred questions/You stroke my locks/Some marijuana if you got some...Sleeping on your belly/You break my arms/You spoon my eyes/Been rubbin' a bad charm with holy fingers"

He says he's sadistic, and this song makes me think of that.
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7 Garbage : Stupid Girl

We made out to this song. Simple as that.
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Track 8 from Garbage
Length: 00:04:18
Year: 1995
Track Description:

We made out to this song. Simple as that.
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8 Best Coast : Summer Mood

"Ooh, I want you.../But there's something about the summer"

There is something about t [...]
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Track 0 from Crazy for you
Length: 00:02:26
Year: 0000
Track Description:

"Ooh, I want you.../But there's something about the summer"

There is something about the summer. It brings awesome opportunities to get to know people.
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9 The Unicorns : Les OS
"Tell me about your love affairs/Tell me about your moral resignations/Tell me about your love affairs/I want [...]
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Track 12 from Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?
Length: 00:03:35
Year: 2004
Track Description:
"Tell me about your love affairs/Tell me about your moral resignations/Tell me about your love affairs/I want to know all the lurid details"

I am curious about his past relationships. He told me he was engaged before, and I just wonder how it came to be and why it ended. I wonder what kind of girl she was. And I wonder if I'm anything like her.
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10 Built to Spill : Distopian Dream Girl
No, I don't reckon I'd kill myself over a dude. But I'm feeling pretty crazy about him. Pretty caught up in th [...]
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Track 10 from There's Nothing Wrong with Love
Length: 00:04:24
Year: 0000
Track Description:
No, I don't reckon I'd kill myself over a dude. But I'm feeling pretty crazy about him. Pretty caught up in thinking about him. Pretty anxious to find out what's going to happen. I haven't felt like this in so long.
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11 Pulp : Don't You Know
"Don't you know she could break you/Every bone that's inside of you/Then again she might make you/Everything t [...]
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Track 9 from Freaks
Length: 00:04:09
Year: 1987
Track Description:
"Don't you know she could break you/Every bone that's inside of you/Then again she might make you/Everything that you want her to/And if you could walk away/Where would you go anyway?/And if you've still got the chance/I know you know you'll stay"

I think this perfectly embodies my feelings.
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12 Mew : Beautiful Balloon
"Can you tell me how/I'm supposed to screw this up?.../Should I say goodnight to you?/Really I tender feel for [...]
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Track 2 from A Triumph for Man
Length: 00:04:27
Year: 1997
Track Description:
"Can you tell me how/I'm supposed to screw this up?.../Should I say goodnight to you?/Really I tender feel for sin/Tell me honestly, am I adorable?/In her beautiful balloon/She's got hands but she cannot reach the moon/Wish I was gay/Then I wouldn't have to play/All her games"

I just wish I knew what he was thinking or feeling. He isn't playing any games with me. But I'm trying to play it cool. I don't want to come off as desperate, because really, I'm not. I couldn't care less about having a relationship right now. I just want to do this right.
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13 My Bloody Valentine : Cupid Come
"Come back down, I'm waiting here/And lick me with your fire.../Forget your vanity/Come Cupid, come"

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Track 3 from isn't anything
Length: 00:04:29
Year: 1988
Track Description:
"Come back down, I'm waiting here/And lick me with your fire.../Forget your vanity/Come Cupid, come"

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14 Slint : Breadcrumb Trail
"Creeping up into the sky. Stopping at the top then starting down. The girl grabbed my hand, I clutched it tig [...]
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Track 1 from Spiderland
Length: 00:05:55
Year: 1991
Track Description:
"Creeping up into the sky. Stopping at the top then starting down. The girl grabbed my hand, I clutched it tight. I said goodbye to the ground...At the gate I said goodnight to the fortune teller. The carnival sign threw colored shadows on her face. But I could tell she was blushing."

This song is beautiful. It's a first-person retelling of an experience at the carnival, where he ends up riding a roller-coaster with a girl he met in a fortune teller's tent.

I feel like that's how this crush seems to be working out for me. I developed this crush, seemingly, pretty quickly; but by definition I suppose it's going fluidly and slow. It feels really natural. He was in my history class the year I started college. I remember being super attracted to him for some reason. I just always thought he was unattainable and that it was useless. But now I'm feeling quite different about it all. And I'm happy about that.
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The One Year Anniversary Badge badge
The One Year Anniversary Badge
Issued to those who have stuck it out for a year here on MTC. What a long, strange trip, huh?
awarded on 2010-06-09

Level 11
Caitlin, I fucking love this!

I started feeling those butterflies in my stomach just reading your descriptions and song choices. Reminds me of the line, "he makes me stronger, except for in my knees." Cheers, Baby Ruth!
7/25/11 03:18am
The 250th Album Badge badge
The 250th Album Badge
This is the Mixtape Collective equivalent of the Purple Heart. Kind of...
awarded on 2010-09-10

Level 29
Took a listen. It was a nice mix of the familiar and the new. I love the opener. First time I've listened to that band, sadly enough.

Happy continued crushing.

+++++
7/21/11 08:20pm
The 250th Album Badge badge
The 250th Album Badge
This is the Mixtape Collective equivalent of the Purple Heart. Kind of...
awarded on 2010-09-10

Level 29
Summer of Love 2011. As always, nice nice cover. I've compiled a few of your mixes in the past and they were pretty tight. With that expectation, I'll compiling this one as well.

I hope this rebirth puts things right. I can somewhat relate to the emotional flux you described.

7/18/11 03:41pm
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