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i envy erotomainiacs.

i envy erotomainiacs.
Created by: O_O
Tracks: 17
Length: 00:59:10
Keywords 1. Mix Contest 2
2. Mix Contest 2
3. Mix Contest 2
Created on 8/25/06 12:42pm
Level 5
Points 2290
Total visitors 118
Unique visitors 54
This mix was ranked #12 out of 30 entries for this contest
description:
Now with 30% less hope!

Oh, and first things first: http://www.sen dspace.com/file/byfd4n

I'm sure many of you recognize this mix. I asked Eric about deleting the original because i was re-creating it, but he said that would be a pain. He also said i'd lose points, but i was ok with that.

And i'm sure some people are wondering why i didn't remake "The Soundtrack to your Depression" as it's done better rating-wise and all that. But to be honest, i like this one a lot more. I was really happy with the way the original turned out and since i made it, i wanted it to get better ratings than it had, as it's my second-favorite of the ones i've made. But honestly, i think this revision makes it even better. Just a few songs are different, the order has been changed a bit, and i think it just makes it that much better.

The idea here is...a bit darker, a bit more delusional and a bit more desperate than the original version. While i wanted to stay away from songs that really toe the line between limerence and love with the original version, that line can be very blurry when you're all by yourself. And maybe it's not just because "it would work better for this contest."

Oh, and in case you're wondering aout the title and artwork...the original used the lovely Audrey Tautou. This is because she's in a film called "À la folie... pas du tout" (English title: He Loves Me, he Loves me Not). In it, she plays an erotomaniac, which is the tie-in there.

Erotomania is a disorder in which a person holds the delusional belief that another person, usually someone they have very little or no contact with, is in love with them.

So then why the switch to Anna Karina now? Simply because i firmly believe that she is the pinnacle of human aesthetcs. And i guess that's not really saying that much, because we are notoriously awkward creatures. But even so, oh my. If i had a time machine, i would most certainly make an attempt to sweep her off of her feet.

So then, do i actually envy erotomaniacs?

...

Don't ask silly questions. Of course i do.

tracklist

1 Jeromes Dream : It's more like a message to you
So i really like the way this starts things out, with the static at the beginning.

"...And these sl [...]
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Track 17 from Discography
Length: 00:03:30
Year: 0000
Track Description:
So i really like the way this starts things out, with the static at the beginning.

"...And these sleepless nights. Tossing and turning. The second most important part of me is untouchable. We had one night and not enough time. We all make mistakes. There's nothing i can do. It's just a part of life. Welcome to my life. This is me."
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2 Converge : The Saddest Day
Anybody who disagrees that this is the best Converge song ever written is an ass. Or a liar. Or possibly a lyi [...]
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Track 1 from Petitioning The Empty Sky
Length: 00:07:06
Year: 1998
Track Description:
Anybody who disagrees that this is the best Converge song ever written is an ass. Or a liar. Or possibly a lying ass.

"And we won't be breathing in that same sun again. None of this will ever surface again. How we get older, how we forget about eachother. And the angel falls to the sky. Raised and coiled she blessed this day she did. And it rings our ears. She rarely flies anymore, burden broke her wings. And I know this ghost, I have seen it before. Young it is the dying too fast, too soon, I'll be okay. The air thins in the quick and our lips move but we hear no sound. Every time you justify, another good in you dies. Faith and fear sears me, and love and you pull all the right strings. "How we get older, how we forget about eachother," she said. Entwined within the sadder of days."
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3 a days refrain : No Trade Backs
sean: "I never meant to hurt you i got lost in dreams, but please I couldnt bear to lose you. I was there, i w [...]
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Track 7 from the fiberglass sessions
Length: 00:02:37
Year: 0000
Track Description:
sean: "I never meant to hurt you i got lost in dreams, but please I couldnt bear to lose you. I was there, i was alone, i was there and i'm never going back. Stare at ceilings and run your hand against this wall to hold back your tears. I place my hand inside yours, it never felt this cold. I can still hold onto those days before the tears washed traces away, and i am sorry i broke these pictures, but please don't push me away. I left that place. I could not survive. But i never meant to abandon you. And i can still feel your breath on my neck. So let your breath out, close your eyes, hold your hands out and say goodbye."
sal: "I held on for as long as i could to dreams that were my life and i'm afraid i can't return. So i'll try to slip away from reality."
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4 Slowdive : 40 Days
I've read that most of the lyrics on Souvlaki were talking about the breakup between Neil Halstead and Rachel [...]
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Track 3 from Souvlaki
Length: 00:03:16
Year: 1994
Track Description:
I've read that most of the lyrics on Souvlaki were talking about the breakup between Neil Halstead and Rachel Goswell. Here (and on "Machine Gun") it seems really obvious, and really melancholy as a result.

"Fourty days and I miss you
I'm so high that I've lost my mind
It's the summer I'm thinking of
Fourty days and I'm blown away
If I saw something new
I guess I wouldn't worry
If I saw something new
I guess I wouldn't care
You said you're always sleeping
But if so, I'll be leaving
It's just that I'm always falling
And it makes me feel bad, yeah
If I saw something new
I guess I wouldn't worry
If I saw something new
I guess I wouldn't care
Just to try and watch you
Said I love the way that you smile, don't
Makes me try and watch you
I said I love the way that you smile, don't
Smile whenever I watch you
I said I love the way that you smile, don't
Smile whenever I watch you
I said I love the way that you smile, don't"
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5 City Of Caterpillar : A Heart Filled Reaction To Dissatisfaction
It's like...sometimes relationships are doomed before they even start. It's sad, yeah. But it happens every da [...]
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Track 2 from The City Of Caterpillar
Length: 00:02:35
Year: 2003
Track Description:
It's like...sometimes relationships are doomed before they even start. It's sad, yeah. But it happens every day.

"Hello, i'd like for us to talk but right now is not such a great time. Maybe when it's more convenient for me and i get something out of it. We'll start off slow, maybe rides to work, that's all i can take for NOW. It's hard to please everyone, alright? I PROMISE. I think i'm more happy when there's no sorries. How's it feel to have such FOOLS attracted to you? I think i know well i know i think-- i sort of have nothing to say and if i did i'd say nothing at all. Now i'm too scared to touch a friend like you."
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6 Portrait : north ebony
This song is just so sad....and so wonderful. Oh my.

"So what happens now? Where do we go from her [...]
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Track 8 from Complete Discography
Length: 00:05:40
Year: 2004
Track Description:
This song is just so sad....and so wonderful. Oh my.

"So what happens now? Where do we go from here in this heavy air? What do you mean when you say you dont know which way? You love me. You paint these mistakes so why do they look so real to me? Tell me what you want to believe. How much of me you want to take. Tease me until your heart is cold. Make me believe. Don't wake me when you come next time. Tear me a goodbye and forget ever taking me in."
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7 Give Up the Ghost : postmark my compass
"i am bleeding through
writing songs for you
if i could draw what i felt
then i would draw for [...]
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Track 6 from Background Music
Length: 00:02:15
Year: 0000
Track Description:
"i am bleeding through
writing songs for you
if i could draw what i felt
then i would draw for you
i'm just a boy letting go of his heart
because the days are like knives
and the knives are so sharp
one more kiss - so i dont forget
and then i'll open my arms
to embrace the regret
fragile dreams - fistfight kings
slowdance queens...
oh pick me please
sending 'get well' cards to former stars
cause i know how it feels
to have fallen so far
talentless yet nothingless
then hopelessly in awe of you
i want nostalgia forever
of we throw this life away
will we ever have to live again?
say 'no' and i'm all yours
say 'yes' and i'll still fucking pull
tell the boys i'll see them soon
your lips were the softest yet
north east south and west
i gave you my very best
i left my heart in yesterday
(remember how it used to be)
i shot myself full of memory
(before the world turn on me?)
forget what you know
forget that it hurts
the 'new days' are coming
they're getting fucking worse
forget what you know
forget that it hurts
the 'new days' are coming
they're getting fucking worse
i am bleeding through
writing songs for you
i am bleeding through
fucking writing songs for you
they're all for you."
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8 Neil Perry : Don't Even Try to Start a Honda Accord While It's in Drive
It seems kinda childish, the lyrics to this song. Don't you think? But who's to say all expressions of loss ha [...]
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Track 17 from Discography
Length: 00:00:33
Year: 0000
Track Description:
It seems kinda childish, the lyrics to this song. Don't you think? But who's to say all expressions of loss have to be mature?

"Promise...Leaving...Isn't loving... Leaving...Isn't loving...I wish i could tell you with out crying."
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9 Off Minor : Problematic Courtship
So i felt this was an appropriate way to end side one, with the repeating line of "It just ends. It just ends. [...]
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Track 1 from Split with I am the Resurrection
Length: 00:02:00
Year: 2001
Track Description:
So i felt this was an appropriate way to end side one, with the repeating line of "It just ends. It just ends." And then the tape doesn't just end, haha.

"she said i wish i was a man, and i said so do i
she talks to herself around me i talk to myself around her
this is my balcony scene stage it set script is written
curtain closes in. this scene ends before it begins.
it just ends."
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10 Her Space Holiday : Tech Romance
So how side one ended with "It just ends," side b begins with "Scene one anthem, take one." And i'll be comple [...]
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Track 3 from The Young Machines
Length: 00:04:20
Year: 2003
Track Description:
So how side one ended with "It just ends," side b begins with "Scene one anthem, take one." And i'll be completely honest here. This song makes me tear up, no joke. Especially the second-to-last line.

"I'm sick of seeing you cry
And wasting all your time
On someone who will never care enough
To make you feel loved
To make you feel safe
I would drop my life to take his place

To show you just how good
Being touched could be
Commit these words to memory
For when you find yourself
Pinned under his demands
I am still an option that you have

So carry me around
Like a picture in your purse
Pull me out when things are at their worst

You can show up at my house
Completely unannounced
We'll have that movie kiss we talked about

Where there are no words
Just a soft and gentle score
Our ears will ring from all the strings

We'll let the screen go black
And watch the credits run
And see the names of every one

Who we ever met
And who we ever missed
Each one had a role in this

It's just another film that won't get made
I'm sick of seeing you cry..."
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11 Dance Hall Crashers : Nothing Left To Say
"you sigh and say goodbye
and turn while i scratch out my eyes
what have i done this time
never [...]
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Track 9 from Purr
Length: 00:03:02
Year: 1999
Track Description:
"you sigh and say goodbye
and turn while i scratch out my eyes
what have i done this time
nevermind last year

never wanted to be
all of the things i'm sure are me
finally, i can see
you're too good for this

and i know i'm too late
'cause there's already nothing left to say
there's really nothing left to say
there's nothing left to say

oh, if you only knew
how often i thought of you
and how you would feel
you would smile for sure

so you can't be mad
when you don't get your sweater back
'cause it's the only part of you
that i can hold

and i know i'm too late
'cause there's already nothing left to say
there's really nothing left to say
there's nothing left to say

and i know i'm too late (oooh)
'cause there's nothing left to say
and at the end of today, it's far too late
but i really never ever wanted it to come to this
'cause the final chapter, i never realized
that it truly was the end

oooh, all i was trying to do
was to have and not hurt you
couldn't bear to lose
my best friend again

and as you walk away
please believe me when i say
that it meant everything
to me too

and i know i'm too late
'cause there's already nothing left to say
there's really nothing left to say
there's nothing left to say
there's nothing left to say"
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12 indian summer : Orchard
This song's lyrics are obviously very metaphoric. And i think they're very beautiful, and...hopeless.
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Track 1 from Split 7" with Current
Length: 00:03:56
Year: 0000
Track Description:
This song's lyrics are obviously very metaphoric. And i think they're very beautiful, and...hopeless.

"slow trundle
eyes bound to forever
sunrise collected taken
under sown collection
of mirrors past
seeing from sleeping
the joys
of the newfound wing
pulling heart and soiled
wormlike drudging
in movements pictures
heavy tenfold
of an iron brigde
that will not burn
9 ft of solid mud
holding and stealing
the movement of beams
yearnings of swaying
forgotten as once more
i crawl your surface
for less i am guilty
for this i am sorry"
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13 Audio Karate : Drama Club Romance
Here it is again...the whole acting metaphor. I did that unconsciously, which is why it only shows up in a few [...]
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Track 2 from Space Camp
Length: 00:02:45
Year: 2002
Track Description:
Here it is again...the whole acting metaphor. I did that unconsciously, which is why it only shows up in a few songs. But i think that whenever a relationship ends, if someone is hurt as a result they'll often ask themself: "Was it just an act? Were they simply pretending the whole time?"

"Practice all the lines weve rehearsed
play will start at nine
and drama is a game ive been thru
sort thru broken ties

and the curtains on the rise
in the moment of surprise
the stage that i built on holidays

so stand back
lights on...
i wont fail
when your gone...

i will never die without you
fine without you
life without you exists...in time

So have you seen the show run lately?
seats are hard to find
and the teachers on the rooftop
singing praise aint justified

and the curtains on the rise
in the moment of surprise
our thoughts will coincide on better days

so stand back
lights on...
i wont fail
when your gone...

i will never die without you
fine without you
life without you exists...in time

and the curtains on the rise
in the moment of surprise
when you find the part to play
dont let it get away"
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14 Ten Grand : Midwinter
This is one of the criminally underappreciated bands to ever be involved in hardcore / emo / punk rock / whate [...]
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Track 3 from Self-Titled 7"
Length: 00:03:11
Year: 0000
Track Description:
This is one of the criminally underappreciated bands to ever be involved in hardcore / emo / punk rock / whatever you want to call it. This song...the lyrics are somewhat happy, but there's still a sad tone to them. Like with "Tech Romance," it's like the writer hoping for something that can never happen...only here the idea is that it did happen, but now he's just supposed to forget it did and move on with his life.

"frost sets in on my Wenceslaus scene
in case you don't remember
here's the temple of sheets
where you forgot your boyfriend
and i forgot your boyfriend
and we put our mouths together
and celebrated 'til sighs

i don't think i've seen you look
worse than you look right now
i'm not joking at all

here's the park where i walked
through the snow to your job and
that's the swing that i sat on when
the water froze to my face, i praise
the reporter's view
ah, here's where you sighed and our
mouthes met our necks we stroked
our arsm to death we proved
ourselves by matching stories and
lips and holding hands until he came
up the stairs and this is the same
pillow where you left your first gift
on the last day where every last
thing we did stopped

and i don't have to act
you mean too much to just let you
leave
so i'll get out of bed when i want to"
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15 Orchid : Boy With No Arms
This is unquestionably one of my favorite Orchid songs....but then, half of their songs are "one of my favorit [...]
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Track 9 from Chaos Is Me
Length: 00:01:44
Year: 0000
Track Description:
This is unquestionably one of my favorite Orchid songs....but then, half of their songs are "one of my favorites." But goddamn, it kills me every time to hear the final lines. I usually scream along with them, wherever i happen to be.

"Forever is so easy to say but I can't stand to wait and be slapped in the face. I'll keep this to myself you can't know. Smile for me. Pretend it's alright. Knocked down what's the use? I can't make you happy. I can't even make you feel anymore. How can you look me in the face and say that? I believe in fear and complacency. What do you believe in? What do you believe in?"
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16 I Would Set Myself On Fire For You : the first word that comes to mind
This is my favorite song off of an amazing album. If you haven't heard "...Believes in Patterns" yet, you must [...]
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Track 7 from ...Believes In Patterns
Length: 00:07:38
Year: 0000
Track Description:
This is my favorite song off of an amazing album. If you haven't heard "...Believes in Patterns" yet, you must download or otherwise listen to it. It's such an amazing album. If you like, i can even give you a link to download it. But really, you should hear this record.

"I wish you could see yourself standing there now. So tall so proud so bold. Do you recognize those footprints in the sand? They have always been your own. It's beautiful.

So what's another day to spend away from her and die a little more inside? It's just another night to lie awake and wonder... I've written a thousand pages in her name and i just want to know, does she ever regret? Does she miss our love? My soul has shattered and fallen to the floor. I still remember your face and how beautiful you were to me. When we were beautiful, together. Looking back it was so beautiful. It could have been so beautiful. I remember.

I tried to understand you, but i can't."
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17 the last forty seconds : cutting down the glare
When i read the lyrics to this song, i knew it had to end with this song. There's just no other way it could.. [...]
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Track 5 from self-titld
Length: 00:03:02
Year: 0000
Track Description:
When i read the lyrics to this song, i knew it had to end with this song. There's just no other way it could...also, if you're listening, you should notice that the previous song ends with the word "beautiful," and that's how this one starts.

"beautiful like a car crash, mesmerizing and untold
you never realize how brittle bone is until you see it up close

it's not your fault, you're not what's wrong

i saw your sihouette
lost among the trees
finished in porcelain
these moments will last forever

i always wished i was more like you
if only you were still here we would set the night ablaze

tragic like a car crash, devastating and all too real
your skin was just a covering
you never stood a chance"
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Issued to those who have stuck it out for a year here on MTC. What a long, strange trip, huh?
awarded on 2010-06-09

Level 11
Agreeing with Sparky on this one - points for Slowdive alone.
This mix is prime.
9/02/09 01:48am
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The 250th Album Badge
This is the Mixtape Collective equivalent of the Purple Heart. Kind of...
awarded on 2010-09-10

Level 29
Points for inclusion of any Slowdive song alone. Neil gave a fine solo performance recently in Portland. Can't we just call erotomaniacs something more respectful like say, "hopeless romantics". I can't say I'm familiar with some of these songs, but I bet this is a great mix.
4/03/09 09:31am
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The MTC Romance Badge
A gift for the romantics.
awarded on 2007-07-17

Level 18
ok. the tape is alright. BUUUUUUUT your title contains the title from a dream theater song. guess what, +5 for pure unstoppable ballpower.
8/30/06 10:14pm
The Yay! Badge VI badge
The Yay! Badge VI
This elusive badge is bestowed to those who can truly comprehend the colossal sophistication and the unfathomable, enigmatical origins of the elusive 'YAY!'.

Plus, 500 users. Hell yay!
awarded on 2007-05-16

Level 18
I love this tape
8/29/06 06:21am
The Valentine's Day 2007 Badge badge
The Valentine's Day 2007 Badge
Happy Valentine's day from the MTC staff. We really love you guys. That said, put your pants on and get out before we call the cops.
awarded on 2007-02-14

Level 21
Man, we do not have the same taste in music, do we?
8/25/06 07:46pm
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